Here’s a great article by my buddy Bobby Rio…
It’s about the biggest conversation mistakes men make with
women… and how to prevent them…
Here are the top six ways men murder their conversations with
women before they ever even have a chance to create attraction.
Let’s face it…
If you want to create attraction in a woman… you must possess
the ability to talk.
You can know all the “secret attraction building techniques” in the
world… but if you can’t carry a conversation… YOU GET NO WHERE….
(Don’t worry, we’ll discuss some of those “secret attraction building
techniques in later articles here at ESeduce)
Right now I want to concentrate on the exact ways you’re killing
your conversations… probably without realizing it.
Mistake #1: Breaking the 90/10 Rule When Starting a Conversation
Have you ever noticed that most conversations don’t pick up steam
until about 5-10 minutes in?
This is because when you start talking to someone new, especially
somebody you do not know yet, they are going to be just as cold
inside their heads as you were before you psyche yourself up –
making yourself ready to start that conversation.
A conversation needs time to build “conversation momentum.”
The problem most guys face is that don’t ever give their
conversations a chance to build that “momentum.”
Most guys expect to hit this “conversation flow” too quickly.
And because of this the opposite effect happens… and their
conversations just “stall out.”
Well you have to carry the conversation. Be prepared, in the
first five or so minutes, to carry the conversation by providing
90, or even sometimes 100, percent of all the content until
they get warmed up a little bit.
How do you do that?
Well the rule is very simple: Just keep talking.
By taking control of the conversation right from the beginning,
you allow her time to “warm up” and shift her brain from “receive
mode” rather than “give mode.”
In future lessons I’m going to show you exactly what tools you
need to be able to do this… but for now, just know you HAVE be
prepared to talk 90% of the time for the first 5-10 minutes of
Mistake #2: Not Recognizing the Signals a Woman is Giving Them
You have to recognize the signals that women are giving to you
so you know whether you have got the right kind of emotional
intensity – the right energy – and whether the topics you are
talking about are actually even appropriate for this point in the
How do you do that?
Well, you use your senses. Your eyes and your ears are your best
friends. You have got to watch people’s reactions and learn to be
able to read them.
You have a good sense of when you are boring her, when she is
excited and how she is reacting to you. You just have to make
sure you pay attention.
The rule of thumb is when you first start a conversation with someone
or with a group of people you want to have a little bit more energy
than that group had before you came in.
If you get to recognize where she is at in terms of her energy level,
her enthusiasm, her excitement, how her neurology is wired up and
lit up, and you can pitch your own energy level to be just slightly
above that, you will be sure to be a success wherever you go
because you will not be too much and you will not be too little.
Mistake #3: Not Assuming Rapport Right From the Beginning
For the longest time I could never understand why it took so long for
me to develop rapport with women… while my friends seem to jump
right into it…
And then it hit me…
I was waiting for rapport to happen naturally… they were assuming it.
When you are talking to a woman, even if it’s your first time talking to
her… talk to her in the same laid back way you would talk to an old friend.
Most guys do the complete opposite… they talk to a woman in a
“stiff, formal” way reserved for strangers…. And this just makes it
more apparent that you are a STRANGER. And this puts her guard up.
And this creates that uncomfortable “awkwardness” that is devastating
to a conversation.
By jumping right into rapport you create a more natural feeling conversation
and give her the feeling of “knowing you forever.”
Mistake #4: Going into “Interview Mode”
I know you’ve experienced it… talking to a woman, and feeling like
you’re on a job interview.
This is the dreaded “interview mode.”
This happens when you don’t know what to talk about so to keep the
conversation going you ask questions like:
What do you do for a living?
What do you do for fun?
Where did you grow up?
What kind of music do you like?
It’s not the questions themselves that kill you… the rapid firing off
question after question… and the steady stream of fact based answers
that destroy any sort of “chemistry.”
A conversation is supposed to fun vibing back and forth… it’s not
supposed to feel like a job interview.
In Conversation Escalation: Make Small Talk Sexy we will be going
over specific conversational techniques that allow you to bypass
“interview mode” and escalate right into a more comfortable and
Mistake #5: Letting her “Lead” the Conversation
Most guys are so unsure of themselves when talking to a woman that
they look for the woman to give them “approval” or “permission” before
they take any lead in the conversation.
And this is DEAD wrong.
The minute a woman realizes you’re looking to her to lead the conversation…
her attraction instantly disappears.
Most guys let the woman lead the conversation because they are scared
of “pissing her off” or choosing the wrong topic…
But here is the thing…
Women will follow whatever tone you set for the conversation. If you set
a fun, flirty vibe… she will follow.
And even if she isn’t interested in the topic you’ve chose to discuss…
she’ll still respect you a lot more for taking the initiative.
The Biggest Mistake:
Do you want to know what the biggest mistake men make in regards to
their conversations with women?
Not getting help.
Would you believe that 10 years ago it was nearly impossible to find this
sort of information on improving your conversations with women? This
meant that guys were forced to either struggle forever, or figure it out
on their own.
However, you have no excuse… as there is help available. Help that can
change your “game” almost overnight.
Even though it has been close to five years since I last struggled with this…
I still know the pain you feel… I had felt it for more than two thirds of my life.
And I don’t wish that pain on anyone.
Now, I know that anytime, anywhere I can go out and talk to women and
This is what fueled to me to create a program about this. I asked 5 of the
guys I know who are the absolute best at talking to women… to join me on
this program to help create that change in you – a lot quicker than it took me.
It’s jam packed with dozens and dozens of specific strategies for creating
the right mindset for talking to a woman, getting “in the zone”, making her laugh,
creating rapport, keeping a conversation flowing naturally, overcoming “shit tests”,
dealing with guys who might be overshadowing you, and most importantly,
creating attraction as you talk to her…
This is arguably the most comprehensive “conversation training” you will ever
receive. There is no way you can listen to this program and not come away
with at least a dozen tips that will change the way you communicate with
women …nearly immediately.
>>> Check out Conversation Escalation: Make Small Talk Sexy and learn how
to instantly generate attraction through the way you talk to women.