Advice for Joe D. of “The Pick Up Artist” for the Rockn Celebrity B-Day Bash

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CC DeVille of PoisonI recently saw a press release that said “Joey D.” of MTV’s “ The Pick Up Artist” was going to be a guess for the Rockn Celebrity B-Day Bash for Michael Esterman at Blush Nightclub in Las Vegas on April 4th.

Along with Joey D., other “celebrities” were confirmed to show such as CC DeVille, Omarosa, various VH1’s Rock Of Love ladies, Coolio, Ron Jeremy, NBC’s Deal or No Deal case models, MTV’s That’s Amore cast member Kim and Rita G.

This brought up several questions.

Since when is he “Joey”? Wasn’t it on VH1 and not MTV? Who the fuck is “Michael Esterman”? Why is such a mish-mash of B-Grade and reality stars coming together for this “bash”?

I grabbed my pipe and magnifying glass and searched for some answers.

Apparently Michael Esterman is a “celebrity” agent. He seems to focus on reality and internet “stars”. He also has some B-grade actors/actresses, musicians and Playboy models.

And what do you know, all these confirmed “celebrities” are also his clients!

Apparently he has all “ The Pick Up Artist” contestants as clients. I wonder how many people are booking Pradeep and Spoon for their nightclub events?

As for Joey D., he is reaping the rewards of fame. There are going to be some hot women at this event and he has a great opportunity to hook up with a serious HB10.

Today’s your lucky day Joey because I got a six step game plan to help you out!

1. Bust out your patented “Did you see those two Rock of Love girls fighting outside?” opener on Kim of “That’s Amore”. Build comfort then ask her who she is. When she says she was in “That’s Amore” neg her by saying she must be pretty fucking old if Dean Martin was singing about her. Use her as a pivot.

2. You may be tempted to open CC DeVille but be forewarned, ‘it’ is actually a “dude” and not a girl!

3. The Deal or No Deal models will probably see your social proof and will be orbiting with their briefcases in hand. Ignore them, they are the lowest of reality stars. By next year they’ll probably be shooting foot fetish porn in a warehouse in the San Fernando Valley or waitressing at Denny’s. You don’t want to bring down your status talking to them

4. Side step Rita G unless you want to end up pummeled by a shovel while being gagged in the trunk of a car.

5. Obey the 3-second rule and open Omarosa. Blow out the AMOGs. Tell Ron Jeremy to go wax his back and Coolio to take a “Fantastic Voyage” back to 1994 when people actually knew who he was.

6. Switch it up and go natural game on Omarosa. Be direct and tell her you think she is a “complete bitch”. Chug a bottle of Grey Goose to numb the senses and then f-close her and steal her purse (wallet?) in the morning.

I don’t want anyone to take this too seriously. It’s Friday and I’m just kidding around.

For example the bit about the Deal or No Deal models in the Valley wasn’t meant to be mean. Everything will work out for them. They will get another 15 minutes of fame when Thundercat shows up at a shoot and asks them questions about celery and pineapples (if you get that reference you get a scratch ‘n sniff pickle sticker).

After writing this I expect my RSVP for this bash in my mailbox by Monday.




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  • Gregory Arkadin
    March 7th, 2008 at 12:53 pm

    25 YEARS from now , people will be saying “reality TV” that’s so year 2000″

    reality TV and global warming will be what bell bottoms and sloppy hairstyles were in the 1970’s…a goofy aberration.

  • Bobby Rio
    March 7th, 2008 at 12:56 pm

    lol… I’d really like to get Joe D. on the show.. but I spent a whole season calling him Fat Joe.. im not sure how he’ll take it.

    you think the show got Kozmo any acting gigs.. or is his 15 minutes already up?

  • Matt Savage
    March 7th, 2008 at 1:07 pm

    Haha, this is too funny!

    I have to say though, that these realty show star parties seem to be quite common. Just as many real celebrities tend to hang out with each other so do the reality contestants from various shows.

    I friends with a guy here in Boston who was on a big reality show and I’ve been invited to several of these types of parties. One in particular included a guy from Real World, a guy from the Real Gilligan’s Island, Paradise Hotel, and several of the Average Joe Guys. It was pretty funny to watch, as they basically all kiss each others asses and try to squeeze as much tail out of their quickly fading lime light as they can.

    Joe D was definitely one of my favorites on The Pick Up Artist, so I’m hoping he gets some hot D-list celeb action!

  • Gregory Arkadin
    March 7th, 2008 at 1:14 pm

    “ol… I’d really like to get Joe D. on the show.. but I spent a whole season calling him Fat Joe.. im not sure how he’ll take it.”

    How about “pug nosed Danny Boy”

    “you think the show got Kozmo any acting gigs.. or is his 15 minutes already up?”

    No but reality TV sure helped Melinda Stolp,
    last I heard of her she was a part time”celebrity bartender” at Have a Nice Day Cafe. No offense to her, she seems like a cool and talented chick, but’s that’s the reality of a reality star. Speaking of which, reminds me of a true sarging debacle I had with her once, but a that’s a story for another time……

    You know thunderkit has a list of top ten puas, what about a list of top ten pua bozos?

    Joey D would because he is so freakin annoying, but also Stye and the most hated man in ALL OF PUA (yeah even more than TD) that pretentious semen spewing sack of shit from Montreal , STEPHAN HEMAN, ..I won’t even mention his website because he so slimey…..

  • Gregory Arkadin
    March 7th, 2008 at 1:27 pm

    “several of the Average Joe Guys”

    Actually, I remember Pete Gaeth, he was a hunk on Average Joe, used to belong to the YMCA I went to at one point.

    That tells me there are too many reality tv stars being spawned…maybe they can form there own TV leper colony……

  • Mack Tight
    March 7th, 2008 at 3:26 pm

    GA,

    The sad thing is that with the low cost and high ratings along with the fact that reality writing is not covered by the WGA’s MBA, reality TV is not going anywhere anytime soon.

    Rio,

    Don’t tell me you are not opening Joe D. because of a fear of rejection :) I’m sure he would do it if you asked.

    I don’t have audio right now but I remember Kosmo saying he had a role on some show in either this video or this video. That was back in November and the strike might have fucked that up for him. Here is a link to his acting demo reel.

    Matt Savage,

    Yeah, there are a couple bars/clubs in Milwaukee that have a reality star or Playboy Playmate every week in them. They bump up the cover those nights which is a joke. Usually they are good looking female or hunky dude reality stars. That is why I don’t think these PUA’s are going to get much business, no offense to them.

    I’m sure Joe D. is riding his 15 minutes until the wheels fall off.

    GA,

    I know a lot of people who went to High School with Melinda in Milwaukee. It is funny because her and her boyfriend (Danny? from Boston?) from the show thought they were big shit when it was airing. Now I haven’t seen or heard anything about them. I heard that she was a bartender at HANDC before the show.

    Call me stupid but I have never heard of STEPHAN HEMAN. You’re going to have to throw me a bone about his website because I even Googled the name and didn’t get shit.

  • Beethoven
    March 8th, 2008 at 12:38 pm

    Mack, this is one your funnier posts - loved the girl fight opener bit!

  • Mack Tight
    March 8th, 2008 at 8:22 pm

    Thanks Beethoven.

    Rio,

    I fucked-up with my previous comment. The second video that I linked to was the one I thought was him talking about being on ABC’s “Brothers & Sisters”. Here the dude talking is actually Kosmo’s friend.

    At Kosmo’s official site it says:

    “He is currently working on several movies, guest starring on several talk shows, TV shows and is working on his own project Latino White Guy due in 2008.”

    So that sounds like a flattering way of saying he hasn’t gotten any acting gigs if you ask me.

    There also aren’t any new events listed on the “My Events etc.” page since early last November. I was also visitor number “878″ to the site.

  • Matt Savage
    March 9th, 2008 at 9:56 am

    It looks like Joe D. is working with some website now making…surprise, surprise…how to get women videos. I just stumbled across this and though you guys might be interested. Here’s the link:
    http://vlaze.com/getwomentoday

  • Gregory Arkadin
    March 9th, 2008 at 1:30 pm

    “It looks like Joe D. is working with some website now making…surprise, surprise…how to get women videos. I just stumbled across this and though you guys might be interested. Here’s the link:”

    jeez, another one? One more person rehashing something that has been said a thousand times before….

  • Gregory Arkadin
    March 9th, 2008 at 2:35 pm

    “http://vlaze.com/getwomentoday”

    watch the “Survvial and replication” video. Looks like he has been well brainwashed by mystery

  • Mack Tight
    March 9th, 2008 at 2:35 pm

    Thanks for the link Matt!

    I have to agree with GA in that it is basically just him regurgitating the Mystery Method techniques and concepts with very little original material of his own added.

    He also makes no mention of VH1, The Mystery Method or “The Pick Up Artist” show so it makes me think he did it with no affiliation. I would think Mystery would have contractually or legally devised a way to avoid something like this from happening.

  • Beethoven
    March 9th, 2008 at 6:06 pm

    Didn’t know Kosmo had a website! I wasn’t very impressed with it. He fancies himself the ultimate Latino heartthrob…hilarious!

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