by Mike Pilinski of http://www.highstatusmale.com
© 2007 Kipling Kat Publishing Co. All Rights Reserved
If you’re a single guy still searching for your dream POA (piece of ass), I’m sure you’ve absorbed lots of advice on how best to meet and date women by now. A lot of it is “common sensical” as you well know. Therefore, assuming you know enough not to show up on a first date looking like you just combed your hair with an M-80 or wearing cowboy boots and shorts, maybe a few of the following ideas can give you just enough of an edge to make the difference between Date #2 with an exciting little fox — and a date with ol’ Rosie Palm instead:
1) Try NOT to Act like a Fake on a First Date
A woman often makes a far more profound emotional investment into a relationship than a man does. So for her, trust is an immensely important issue. Dating is not just a convenient way to get her rocks off, it’s a case study in the male psyche. Can she trust you to ever be a good future father, for instance? Don’t laugh – unless she’s middle-aged and well beyond the kids & husband phase of her life, this “mating calculus” is ALWAYS running somewhere in the back of a woman’s mind.
Acting like a phony with an obviously fake ‘come-on’ personality only demonstrates how easily you are willing to embrace deception in order to get something you want. To any woman other than the sad exception of the chick who’s looking for another loser for her next AA reclamation project (maybe 10% to 15% of the female population), you are TOTAL POISON… a potential cheater and heartbreaker just waiting for his next victim to arrive. She may dump you right away, OR depending on the depth of her general bitterness towards men, keep you around to engage in a little recreational tease and torturing if she’s got a vendetta to settle with a guy like you. Beware!
2) Create New Memories Instead of Swapping Them
Here’s the very best dating advice I can ever give anyone: in order to make any date memorable and fun, spend 90% of your activities in the present moment.
It’s very easy to get caught up in the deadly “talking trap” on a date — where the two of you sit around and get lost in deeper and deeper conversation. These ‘chatting dates’ can slip out of control and become subtle passion-killers however — especially if you’re not careful to keep the big picture in focus. Before you know it, you’re spilling your guts out about the abuse you experienced at the hands Father Hamhands from your altar boy days, or waxing poetic about your bleeding hemorrhoids and how they love to swell up in the springtime. Yeesh!
For a seduction to go off like a thing of beauty, you must reveal yourself slowly — bit-by-bit — as you gradually come to know her. Think of dating as an emotional veil dance… a striptease — the point of which is to make her anticipate when the next Veil of Male Mystery will come off! This is the kind of thing she’s been dreaming about all her life. Why? Because it makes everything that’s to follow (including the sex) all that much more delicious for her!
So always try to put ACTION ahead of endless yakking whenever possible, especially on the early dates. Stay active on a date (it doesn’t have to be an extreme sport-fest or anything, even something like visiting a flea market will do…) so that you are BUILDING a memory with her instead of SHARING one. Focus on having experiences with her that the two of you can reminisce about some day in the future — instead of spending time caught up in a lot of drawn-out amateur psychotherapy sessions in a bar somewhere. Conversation is very important in any new relationship, and is the pathway to her eventual sexual surrender, but you must provide her with a reason to want to know so much about you first before opening up your soul to her. Never forget the importance of your veil dance.
3) Don’t be a Bore
A boring person is anti-charismatic — which is to say that, instead of making people feel good about themselves by acting interested in them, the boring person makes us want to run away screaming from the agony of having to listen to another second of his self-absorbed droning!
The point of any early conversation that you have with a woman should always be focused on drawing her interests out, rather than of dwelling upon your own stuff (but don’t come across like a ruthless Nazi interrogator either — go easy on the breathless string of questioning). Share a little bit — but keep YOUR interests lost in the background. Her response to a few casual queries about her life or current dreams holds clues to your LifeLine (which I talk about in Without Embarrassment). Cling to it tightly and work on expanding its scope. Submerge your own ego for the first few dates. Don’t worry, when you finally hook her she’ll begin questioning you intently… maybe TOO intently! But that probably won’t happen until after you’ve had sex with her. (Then get ready for the onslaught!)
4) Forget about Trying to Act “Like Yourself”
The standard dating advice of “being yourself” or “acting like yourself” (whatever the hell that means) is pure Oprah-loving bullshit. You need to learn how to strike a balance between coming on like a phony-baloney and seeming too safe and friendly. Seduction is a delicate bubble that can be burst with increasingly less effort as it ripens. A first date is NOT the place to remain in the role of your everyday average old sort of guy… that’s spells B-O-R-I-N-G. A spark must be present to ignite the fires of desire in the old primal portion of her brain!
That means you have to seem excited to be out with her! When you think about it, it should be easy to get juiced up… dating someone for the very first time is not something that happens every day in anyone’s life. Face it, ordinary life sucks… romance is a fantasy voyage — an escape from the 9 to 5 daily drudgery of work and all the other daily aggravations that torture us. So treat this rare event for what it is… something unique, unrepeatable and potentially unforgettable. Even if she seems too cool to care, trust me… her hopeful romance motor is humming along in high gear!
5) Five Minutes of Nerves is Normal, then Calm Down
After some initial awkwardness due to understandable jitters, you should be able to calm down and hit your stride. If you have a real problem controlling automatic body reactions to nervousness (bad sweating, stuttering, facial twitching, etc.) my best advice is to get a book on yoga and practice it WITH AN OPEN MIND. You don’t have to go nuts and join the Green Party or anything, but DO try some of the deep breathing and relaxation techniques. They really work and can give you the self-control edge you might need. This will project through in your attitude as a cool confidence that is the unmistakable sign of a High Status Male!
Learn to always keep your movements around the women you’re trying to seduce graceful and deliberate like a snake charmer. Modulate your voice in a throaty style (lowered volume) and keep the tone of your words sounding a little bit “conspiratorial” (without going overboard and making a fool of yourself). A squeaky voice spells fear and sounds adolescent, so strive to keep it in check. *Be self-aware.*
6) Obsession is the Hallmark of the Weak Male
Dominant males will show an interest in any attractive woman they encounter because they are highly sexually driven. But — because they have many options with females open to them — they do NOT act obsessive about any particular woman. So don’t be obsessed with her… just be interested. Proclaiming ridiculously inappropriate nonsense like “…I love you” or “You’re the girl I’ve been searching for my whole life…” on a first or second date is the frightening talk of the potential stalker. You become RADIOACTIVE to women once word of your engaging in this kind of bizarre behavior spreads! And it will spread… women gossip like demons!
So chill the subservient groveling and behave like you’ve been down the dating & mating road a few times already.
7) No Matter What Happens, Assume that she likes You… and Believe it
I’m not kidding here… this is an essential Jedi mind trick that you MUST somehow learn to play on yourself. Simply assume that any woman you’re working will always like you — and do whatever the hell it takes to sell this idea to your unconscious mind!
Women can become mesmerized by men who seem to be captivated by them, but this kind of vibe can only shine through your body language if it’s GENUINE — and for that to happen, you have to believe that she will respond favorably to you… no matter what.
Remember… ATTITUDE + UNCONSCIOUS BELIEFS = THE SUBJECTIVE TRUTH. Your attitude is a naked expression of your unconscious beliefs about yourself. Therefore, it is interpreted by others as revealing the absolute truth about you… whether you like it or not. So learn to control the self-image that you project to the rest of the world by pushing the crappy beliefs about yourself out of your brain, and replacing them with empowering ones instead. Strive to deliberately manipulate this critical part of your consciousness, and watch your world change before your eyes like magic!
Before long you’ll soon have your pick of all the best looking women in your world!
Mike Pilinski is the author of “Without Embarrassment” and “She’s Yours For The Taking“, books designed to show men how to employ unique psychological techniques to meet and seduce women in a low-pressure, fun manner while reducing their fear of being rejected. Visit http://www.highstatusmale.com and pick up a FREE copy of Mike’s 25 page Mini-Course “The Three Keys to Seducing Any Woman”, while you’re there.