Do you tell people that you are a pick up artist?

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One of the major disagreements me and Vedran have is our stance on telling others that we study pick up.

If Vedran had his choice, he would grab the microphone from the DJ and announce it to the whole club. If we start talking to some random guy for more than five minutes he tells them that we are into “the game”. If he goes on more than a couple day2’s with a girl he discloses that he is a pick up artist to her. If I have a friend coming into town he asks me if my friend knows that I’m studying pick up. If the answer is no, he volunteers to be the person to tell them.

I am on the complete opposite spectrum. I find it quite arrogant to tell people that you are a pick up artist. Does a natural tell others that he is a natural? I am just a guy who was not successful with women who is trying to become better.

The truth is naturals do not talk about their success with women instead they show that they are successful with women. I think telling others that you are a pick up artist is a form of seeking validation. It is no different than trying to impress others by bragging about your money or car. It reeks of AFCness and it turns people off. Why would my friend who is fucking a gorgeous successful woman care if I’m a pick up artist? Should he be somehow impressed?

Back when I was an AFC I always tried to sell to others that I was successful with women mainly because I could not show it. I constantly brought up my prior conquests, even though they were few and far between. I tried to portray myself as a “player”. I remember at a wedding reception I did this and one of my friend’s girlfriends called me out on my AFC banter. “If you are such a player why are you without a woman now?” At the time I was offended but today I realize she was entirely true and by calling me out she was making me face my problems rather than allowing me to cover them up.

I’m probably overreacting. I told others that I studied computer science within minutes of meeting them, why is telling them that I’m studying pick up any different? Is there anything wrong with just trying to find out if you and someone you met share a similar interest? Is there anything wrong with being honest now that I am not an AFC?

Maybe I am still embarrassed by my need for validation in the past. It has made me overly sensitive about such a trivial matter. I am drawing a correlation between two situations when there is none.
All I know is that when Vedran volunteers to tell someone that we are pick up artists I throw a tantrum and try to change the subject.

What are your opinions about this?

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Comments: 6 comments

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  • Vedran
    October 29th, 2007 at 1:38 pm

    I just don’t see any fucking need to hide it. I say what I say, I do what I do and ultimately it makes me who I am. I am just comfortable in my own desire, skill and willingness to pick up women. If they ask me if I am a pick up artist, I will not deny it. Even if they don’t want to know, I will still tell them. You can find me arrogant as much as you want to, and that’s super, but the fact remains: I will continue sarging and picking up the way I have been while evolving my game at the same time. At least for me, I have to have solid game and believe in what I am doing in order to be able to learn more, because if my fundamentals suck balls to me, then what’s the point of me trying to build on them?

  • Vedran
    October 29th, 2007 at 1:40 pm

    In addition to that, how would you know that naturals do not talk about being pick up artists or don’t disclose the fact that they pick women up? I think that most guys that are “naturals” do like to tell women that they have been with beautiful women before, whether they say they are a pick up artist or not, or how exactly they phrase doesn’t really matter since the point at the end of the conversation is still the same. You and I aren’t naturals, since we did have to study up on this shit. The way that we approach women works for each of us, and that is the most important subject to be gathered from this discussion.

  • Mack Tight
    October 29th, 2007 at 2:45 pm

    I disagree with your second comment. I think how you phrase it means everything in the world. Although logically they may be the same, emotionally they will have two completely different connotations and interpretations.

    I think there is a huge difference between telling interesting stories that illicit that you are the type of guy who is accustomed to being with highly attractive women… and telling a girl “I have to confess to you that I am a pick up artist.”

    With the first one you are not telling her that you are successful with women but you are providing her examples that let her conclude on her own from her past dealings with successful men that you share their traits.

    With the latter you are making a direct statement without proof that she may take as you trying to impress her. That was me during the wedding example in this post.

    Just like with approaching, I find if you are trying to tell a girl that you have been with beautiful women before that direct is bad and indirect is good.

  • Mack Tight
    October 29th, 2007 at 3:20 pm

    Regarding your first comment,
    Of course I find you arrogant Vedran! :)

    I apologize for putting you on the defense. The truth is you are not shy about telling others that we study pick up, the rest was what was going on in my mind on why I am shy about it. I even questioned those thoughts at the end of the post.

    You are right in regards to telling guys about it. If you feel like telling some dude you are a pick up artist then do it. Who gives a fuck what they think! This has changed my mind.

    As far as women, I still question if telling them you are a pick up artist without them asking first is a good thing.

  • Bobby Rio
    October 29th, 2007 at 9:10 pm

    I never tell people i study pick up. i agree with mack that there is a difference between letting girls no you’re a player and flat out telling them you’re on websites reading about openers, negs, time constraints and shit like that.

    i try not to tell guys about it because i hate them bringing it up in bars… a lot of people are negative by nature and would love to see you fail. I prefer to make them wonder how it comes so easy to me..

    of course having a fairly popular website about it has made it hard for the word not to get around my circle… but i have found that the girls who hear about the site are intrigued more than turned off.

  • Mack Tight
    October 30th, 2007 at 11:28 pm

    Yeah, usually when you tell random guys you study pick up it creates ridicule, confrontation and/or competition, and I don’t need any of those. I really see no benefit in telling people and only potential problems.

    My site is not nearly as popular as yours but I learned my lesson from previous blogs to not tell my friends about it. People are egocentric by nature and they will read all your posts for anything that may even have a hint of having anything to do with them and they will blow it all out of proportion. If they find it on their own, like I suspect some of your friends have found your blog, I guess more power to them but I’m not going to freely tell them about it.

    I do not talk about this blog or pick up to many people and I like to keep it that way.

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