How to Ask for a Girl’s Number Online by Race and Kelly

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Race Hatch of Window Shopping for WomenHere’s a quick Q&A post by Kelly and Race, authors of Window Shopping for Women, with tips on how to ask a girl for her number online…


Ok so we get this question all the time:

How do you ask for a girl’s number online?

And it’s a super legit question. You see, because the challenge is you need to do it in such a way that makes her feel comfortable and safe and doesn’t raise her defenses.

Otherwise you risk losing much of the attraction you have built up thus far.

So let’s get into the mail bag and figure this out, once and for all.

**** Question from Dan:

“I dont want to overthink this, but I’ve always been wondering something: do you phrase getting a number and meeting up as a question or not?

Like when she’s showing IOIs and she’s ready to meet up, do you guys generally say, “can I get your number?” or “we should talk on the phone sometime?” “we should hang out sometime”

In other words, what is a smooth way to get the number/meet up? I feel like once i ask for the number or to meet up, she’ll immediately get defensive cause she doesnt know me well.”

-Dan, Boston

**** Our response:

Thanks for the question Dan! There are so many factors that go into successfully getting a woman’s # online. The most important being comfort. She has to feel like you are safe.

How do you do this?

One of the major ways is your profile. Your profile must be set up in such a way that gives off the subtle clues that you are in fact a real person who is accepted by people of similar social standing to her. Pictures of you with family, friends and in a variety of real world situations are very helpful in this respect.

Role-playing and building imaginary memories together is another great way to build this comfort. If she has already imagined herself spending time with you she is already prepped to do so in the future. Remember an imagined memory isn’t much different from a real memory. They both are extremely powerful.

Window Shopping For WomenOne last powerful way to create this sense of safety/comfort is to use disqualifying statements. You do this while dangling the possibility of an invitation before her. It insinuates that she can only meet up with you if she meets certain criteria and will enhance her comfort level even more because it communicates that you do not invite just any girl. Behind the scenes you should hold the belief that only girls who are fun, exciting and have something to add are worthy of an invitation to hang out with you.

We go into great depth on these principles in our book and present specific examples in both the book and our forum. You can learn more by clicking here…

-Race and Kelly

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