Here’s a short article by Nick Shane, author of Street Smart Dating, with suggestions on how to avoid falling into the “lets just be friends” zone…
How To Avoid Being ‘Just Friends’ With Women
by Nick Shane
The worst case scenario that can happen when you want to date a woman is when she says “you know, you’re a really nice guy … but let’s rather be friends ok?”. Doesn’t that suck? Of course it does, but for many guys out there they just don’t know how to overcome this problem. But I do so listen up…
When you act like a clingy, needy nice-guy around women then you are not getting anywhere.
She will not see you as a potential boyfriend or lover but as a friend. Why? Because you did not stimulate her emotional trigger buttons … the ones that make her feel that gut level emotion called sexual attraction towards you.
Here’s what happens when you behave like a wimp or nicey-nice guy around women: they tell you that you are indeed a nice person, but they would rather be friends with you because you are so nice and cute. I know, it doesn’t really make any sense at all if you are new to this, but here’s what’s REALLY going on inside her head:
They really don’t want to be friends…they just want to get rid of you!
Now look, women say and mean very different things. “Lets be friends” or “I don’t want to lose you as a friend” just means, “You know, I can’t really see a relationship working out” or in many cases “I’m just not attracted to you sexually”.
So how do you make a woman attracted to you? How do you make a woman see you as a hot stud and as boyfriend material instead of just another girlfriend?
Allright…first of all, when you want to get a woman’s phone number or take things to another level on a date…just stop acting like one of her friends would.
Seriously, if you don’t want to become her friend then STOP acting like one in the first place!
All of her friends are nice to her, pay her lots of compliments, treat her like a princess and buy her drinks when she is out. If you do exactly the same, then she will put you in the FRIENDS category like all the other guys.
Don’t become her personal slave that does everything for her and offers to help her out all the time. Don’t spend hours listening to all her problems. You want to be the one she talks for hours to all her girlfriends about because she isn’t sure how she can attract you.
But if you act like a friend, then you will become her friend.
This is what I want you to do now: you need to do the exact opposite of what her friends do. Stop being nice, stop paying wussy compliments to her and don’t be so needy! You got to make her guess and keep her on her toes whether you like her or not.
Keep her guessing about you so she gets curious. If you pay her a lot of compliments about how good she looks today early on, then all of that mystery is gone because she already knows that you are into her.
And that doesn’t create any attraction.
You need to push her emotional trigger buttons to create attraction, and you do that by teasing her and busting her balls. You need to show her that you are a man and not a doormat.
So instead of doing something for her (I dunno, like a lift for instance) like every friend would, just be cheeky and say “ok … what do I get in return? Naw, not THAT girlie, you gotta stop thinking about sex all the time…but an ice-cream is a start”.
There you go!
THAT’S how you press her buttons and get her attracted to you. Not by being nice, needy and clingy. If you want to be her lover or boyfriend … then get her sexually attracted to you by teasing or accusing her she just thinks of you are a sex-object.
Use your imagination when teasing her, it works wonders when it comes to women and dating.
Keep it up!
Want to learn more street-smart dating techniques?
Check out my book “Street Smart Dating“. It is chock full of tips to help regular guys like YOU become more successful with women and dating.