How to become more successful with younger women

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In the summer of 2006 I was probably at my worst. I got a OWI and realized I couldn’t drink and drive anymore and alcohol was my lone source of overcoming approach anxiety. On top of that my best wing was getting married.

I couldn’t get shit going socially in my life. I felt like a has been. I was out of sync with the scene. I was angry at the world.

I turned 30 and for the first time in my life I felt too old to go to college bars. I felt like I couldn’t relate to girls in their early 20’s. They seemed so vapid.

I love independent rap music and around that time 7L & Esoteric’s “A New Dope” came out. It had a song on it called “Girls Gone Wild (Then & Now)” which seemed like is was written for me.

You can listen to the song below (visit my page for it if it doesn’t show up):

The song is about a guy who is in his late 20’s or 30’s who is complaining that women weren’t as open, suggestive and easy to get with back in the late 80’s and 90’s as they are now. He is feeling out of touch and wishes he was younger.

Things have changed in the past couple years and I have dated several girls who were in their early 20’s.

Here are some “then” and “nows” that explain how I changed to become more successful with younger women:

Back Then:

I used to feel self-conscious about my age so I would lie and shave a few (sometimes several) years off.

Now:

I’m 32.

Back Then:

I blew it with a girl who was 22 by telling her I was old enough to be her father.

Now:

If I’m asked my age I will tell them I’m 32 like it is no big deal and move on, otherwise I do not talk about my age.

Back Then:

I used to bring up pop cultural references that dated me (i.e. Doogie Howser, M.D., The Goonies).

Now:

I keep it relatively current unless she makes a dated reference than it is on like Donkey Kong!

Back Then:

When talking to a younger girl I tried desperately to talk about things a guy her age would talk about.

Now:

I talk about things that transcend demographics or that I find or preferably we both find interested in.

Back Then:

I shopped at stores that the teenagers shopped (i.e. Abercrombie & Fitch, Hollister).

Now:

I shop where grown men with careers shop.

—-

I think the key to dealing with younger women is to show them you are a mature, powerful and successful man who is content with the age that he is. If there would be any “age” problem it would be that she is too immature for you (not necessarily too young).

Make the younger girl work to make herself seem mature enough for you, not you work to try to make yourself immature enough for her.

Ultimately, if the girl is OK with an older established guy who is cool then you’ll be fine. If she is talking to you and showing you indicators that she is interested then it is on.

If she has her mind made up that she only wants a guy her age then her body language and other indicators of disinterest will let you know and it is time for you to move on. That is a battle you can’t win and shouldn’t waste your time with.

So in conclusion, I completely changed my attitude regarding age. I realized that you have to learn to accept and adapt to the changes in your life that you have no control over rather than fight them and fail.

Now “The Most” is the song from that album I most identify with. You can hear a sample of it below.

You can download 7L & Esoteric “A Dope Era” at 7L & Esoteric or Amazon or order the CD.




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Comments: 3 comments

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  • Komodo Dragon
    May 28th, 2008 at 11:57 pm

    I am only 21…. and I have trouble myself trying to get a girl :(

    The last girlfriend I had was when I was in high school, to be honest, as each day passes by, I feel like, I will old before then.

    I guess I have too “high” standards, and I find too many faults in every women.

  • Mack Tight
    May 29th, 2008 at 9:14 am

    Hi Komodo Dragon, thanks for the comment!

    I went through the same thing when I was 21… I felt old.

    I can tell you that I am 32 now and I feel young so it has nothing to do with your actual AGE but more about what is going on in your MIND.

    As for having high standards, that is a good thing in theory but a bad thing in reality. You are simply not going to find a “perfect” woman. I know I’m not perfect myself.

    The women you see in Playboy or on TV aren’t perfect in real life either. You need to remember you are not necessarily going to marry every woman you hit on. You are gaining experience and the better you get the more likely you are to be able to land and hold on to that special girl once you find her.

    Keep reading my blog… I’ll try to help you out the best I can.

  • Komodo Dragon
    June 5th, 2008 at 4:36 am

    Yeah, I guess you are right and you seem very wise! I guess i see one of my biggest mistakes, I see a girl and judge her as “Okay will this make a good wife?” When I should just not be thinking that way. I should try to gain experience, as you say.

    Definitely looking forward to reading more :)

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