In the summer of 2006 I was probably at my worst. I got a OWI and realized I couldn’t drink and drive anymore and alcohol was my lone source of overcoming approach anxiety. On top of that my best wing was getting married.
I couldn’t get shit going socially in my life. I felt like a has been. I was out of sync with the scene. I was angry at the world.
I turned 30 and for the first time in my life I felt too old to go to college bars. I felt like I couldn’t relate to girls in their early 20’s. They seemed so vapid.
You can listen to the song below (visit my page for it if it doesn’t show up):
The song is about a guy who is in his late 20’s or 30’s who is complaining that women weren’t as open, suggestive and easy to get with back in the late 80’s and 90’s as they are now. He is feeling out of touch and wishes he was younger.
Things have changed in the past couple years and I have dated several girls who were in their early 20’s.
Here are some “then” and “nows” that explain how I changed to become more successful with younger women:
I used to feel self-conscious about my age so I would lie and shave a few (sometimes several) years off.
I blew it with a girl who was 22 by telling her I was old enough to be her father.
If I’m asked my age I will tell them I’m 32 like it is no big deal and move on, otherwise I do not talk about my age.
I used to bring up pop cultural references that dated me (i.e. Doogie Howser, M.D., The Goonies).
I keep it relatively current unless she makes a dated reference than it is on like Donkey Kong!
When talking to a younger girl I tried desperately to talk about things a guy her age would talk about.
I talk about things that transcend demographics or that I find or preferably we both find interested in.
I shopped at stores that the teenagers shopped (i.e. Abercrombie & Fitch, Hollister).
I shop where grown men with careers shop.
I think the key to dealing with younger women is to show them you are a mature, powerful and successful man who is content with the age that he is. If there would be any “age” problem it would be that she is too immature for you (not necessarily too young).
Make the younger girl work to make herself seem mature enough for you, not you work to try to make yourself immature enough for her.
Ultimately, if the girl is OK with an older established guy who is cool then you’ll be fine. If she is talking to you and showing you indicators that she is interested then it is on.
If she has her mind made up that she only wants a guy her age then her body language and other indicators of disinterest will let you know and it is time for you to move on. That is a battle you can’t win and shouldn’t waste your time with.
So in conclusion, I completely changed my attitude regarding age. I realized that you have to learn to accept and adapt to the changes in your life that you have no control over rather than fight them and fail.
Now “The Most” is the song from that album I most identify with. You can hear a sample of it below.