How To Get A Woman’s Phone Number by Paul Janka

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Paul JankaPaul Janka is a popular dating coach for men. You may know him by my previous posts including Gawker Loves Paul Janka, Paul Janka on The Today Show and Paul Janka on Dr. Phil.

Here’s an article by Paul with advice on how to number close…

How To Get A Woman’s Phone Number
By Paul Janka

How can you walk up to a complete stranger and have the audacity to ask for her telephone number? You’ve barely known this person for two minutes and already you’re presuming she’ll give you her number? That’s exactly right. Learning how to pick up women requires being direct, yet creating an air of mystery. By creating the conditions that arouse her intrigue but not her suspicion, the beautiful woman in front of you will do just that.

Creating the ideal conditions depends on two things: what you bring to the table, and how well you use the surroundings, or external variables. What you bring to the table includes:

• How you look. Your body language and style. Eye contact and use of hands.

• What you say (and what you don’t). Build credibility by anchoring yourself to something substantial, such as a neighborhood (if it’s nice), a school/university, a nearby office or a routine (“Oh, really? I come here for coffee every morning, as well.”) Avoid arousing suspicion by having a casual tone and approaching in an offhand manner.

• Where you initially direct her attention. Most dating guides don’t get this quite right. The key to not “raising a red flag” is to have her focus on something that is not you and is not her. This is called a prop. For example, you sidle up to her on the street corner, while she’s waiting for light to change. As a sedan rounds the corner in front of you, say, “I hate how these guys always take these corners so tightly…” If she’s an open person (a yes/maybe girl) she’ll respond, “I know, right? The other day a jerk did that and ruined my new raincoat!” Now you’re in a casual, non-threatening conversation. You can offer to be her corner chaperone, or joke that she shouldn’t leave the house without you. Maybe she needs to call you next time she’s on a corner she can’t handle alone…

The second half of the situational condition arises out of your surroundings. Clearly, as in the car example above, using what’s immediately apparent to you both is critical. Playing off the environment is a skill that a good pick-up artist learns to develop. In particular, learn to use the element of timing to tighten up your game and secure the digits in less than two minutes:

• If you’re at a light, be aware of when it turns green; this is when she’ll start walking. If you have a nice rapport and are approaching the far corner, this is when to ask for the number, “…because you’re going the other way at this next corner.”

• On a subway, ask how far she’s going. You may have only 30 seconds to get to the number – or you may have ten minutes. Adjust your pacing accordingly.

• Maybe she’s waiting for a friend who’s coming in “a minute.” Work fast. She’ll be less likely to give her number with her friend watching.

• In an elevator? Think seconds, not minutes. (a comment about the layout of the buttons, the slowness of the elevator, or the mini-LCD screen are all good “prop openers.”)

Be quick and be casual. Two minutes is plenty of time to say “hello” and enter ten digits. Hone this skill and fill your phone.

Getting her number is the easy part, you need to do the heavy lifting later. At that point you need to go beyond the digits

Paul Janka Day GameTo The Good Life,
Paul Janka

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Comments: One comment

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  • hockeytrip
    November 24th, 2008 at 7:41 pm

    This is so funny. I think a girl tried to pick me up in my building elevator just now, by asking about whether I liked my bike or my car more (I have both sharing my parking space). Unfortunately it’s a pretty fast elevator and I don’t live in a high floor, so the conversation ended before either of us was able to get to a phone-number stage.

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