I believe that many of the guys looking for pick-up artist tips & dating advice simply suffer from social anxiety…
Getting over that anxiety is the most critical step to expanding their social circles and improving their success with women…
Here’s an article by Sean Cooper, author of The Shyness & Social Anxiety System, about how to become less shy in demanding social situations…
I like Sean because he takes a “cognitive-behavioral therapy” approach at treating anxiety & shyness… it’s by far the most successful and effective treatment if you ask me…
How To Get Over Shyness - The One Mistake Most Shy Men Make
By Sean Cooper
The one biggest mistake I see shy guys making is being controlled by their emotions. I know it sounds odd because normally we associate women with being controlled by emotions & men by logic.
Unfortunately shyness & social anxiety makes the logic fly out the window.
Here’s some examples of how emotions take over when shy men are put into stressful situations:
* If you avoid people who make you feel shy, for example women you are attracted to, then you are being controlled by your emotions.
* If you avoid public speaking because it makes you feel anxious, you are being controlled by your emotions.
* If you don’t do something just because it makes you feel nervous or afraid, like cold approach women, then you are being controlled by your emotions.
Mark Twain was the one who said “Courage is not the absence of fear. It is acting in spite of it.”
In order to get over your shyness, you have to become less controlled by your emotions. You do this by acting in spite of them. This means that if you feel afraid to do something, you do it anyway.
* If you talk to attractive women even though they make you feel shy, then you’re no longer being controlled by your emotions.
* If you talk to groups and make public presentations, then you are the one in charge now, not your fear.
Once you start acting in spite of fear, you will become more relaxed and easygoing in situations which used to make you nervous and shy. When you stop avoiding your fears, you allow your mind to desensitize to them. In psychology, this is also called “habituation”.
This approach is very common for therapists to use on someone with social anxiety. In cognitive-behavioral therapy, the “behavioral” part is acting in spite of fear. Of course, many shy people can’t or are not able to simply “face their fears.”
This is why changes to your thinking are also a necessary part of getting over shyness. That’s the cognitive part of cognitive-behavioral therapy.
If you want to learn proven strategies and techniques for overcoming shyness that go far beyond “face your fears” and “what’s the worst that can happen “, then click to here to check out my complete system on how to overcome shyness and social anxiety.
Until next time,