Here’s an article by Derek describing how to quit making excuses and being discontent with the present and start having fun picking up women.
I can really identify with this one. I’m still at times the whining complaining guy he describes in this article. I’m going to make a conscious effort to make the best out of every situation and look at the positives and have fun…
How to have FUN picking up girls
by Derek Vitalio
When being in a party or club or social situation its really important to live in the moment, in the now, in the today and not to have your head wishing and wanting about the future.
99% of guys in a party situation are discontent with the present with where they are in that moment.
He’s wishing there were more girls there, he’s wishing the music wasn’t so loud, he’s wishing he was in another club, he’s wishing the weather was nicer, he’s wishing he was somewhere else ideally, he’s wishing he was talking to the hot girl instead of the one he’s talking to, he’s wishing he’d meet his dream girl, or maybe next week things will be better.
If only those wishes were to happen he would feel happy.
So his head is not in the party right now as it stands. Instead he’s resisting the moment and his head is in a future scenario of a wishing and wanting.
Or he could be living completely in the future, dreaming about what a great pickup artist he’s going to become rather than what he can do TODAY. He imagines about his future fantasy harem of girlfriends and what they’ll all look like and do with him, rather than the girl he can meet today. Or he’s dreaming about all the money he’ll eventually make once he gets the raise or makes that career move which will finally give him permission to go out and meet girls.
His mind is stuck in a loop imagining about the future and not living in the moment. He has desires, he has hopes, but he never lives.
Instead of making the most of the current party or situation or approaching girls without the “perfect plan”, he postpones, he says “tomorrow”, “tomorrow”, “tomorrow”.
And it’s always tomorrow, it’s never the here and now.
And because of his desires and hopes and fantasies and postponing and endless preparing he goes on missing the present, he goes on missing the happiness and joy of living for the now and what can become right now.
Your wishing and wanting mind will burden you, always dwelling on whether your grand plans will happen or not. Then every moment of your life becomes this head-ache, this desiring tension about a possible coming future where you are using everything in the moment only as a means to an end.
Don’t be hampered by a way or a path, just be here right now. Don’t live in a house you haven’t built yet, be here right now. Don’t try to be going anywhere, just be here right now. Just be here as much as you possible can. In the party, just be there don’t try to resist your situation, just let go and allow yourself to enjoy it for all of its delight and its warts.
Just experience it, don’t create so many rules about what you have to do or achieve to enjoy the party of today, or that you need to make a lot of money first, or that you need the perfect pickup plan, or that you need to develop your skills first, just enjoy the party today.
Like if you ask a painter, a real painter who enjoys painting for the sake of painting, then he enjoys the action of painting in the moment, he’s not all caught up thinking about how much money he’ll one day sell this painting for 20 years from now. If his head was completely into some far off goal and not just enjoying the experience of painting in the now, the painting would be a chore, a burden, simply a task he had to do to make money.
Meeting girls is the same way. If you’re thinking into the future it becomes a chore, a task, a burden. But if you allow yourself to be happy, right now, today, like a true painter who loves the act of painting, if you truly can come to love the experience of going out and enjoying life – if you meet a girl or not – that kind of living in the moment is the prerequisite to being successful with women.
So watch yourself. Whenever you’re preparing too much, whenever you’re dreaming too much, living in your imagination too much, loving a woman you haven’t met yet, not going to today’s party in the name of some future goal, you are straying from the path of success with women and life. You only sabotage your own goals when you prepare and think about them too much.
Derek Vitalio recently released a program called Blissnosis.
Blissnosis teaches you how to be a sexually powerful man that attracts women.