The problems I have always had is that I’m a slob and I’m lazy. I did not even know that vacuums had “bags” that you had to change up until a couple months ago. My sink had soap, hair and shaving cream residue. My toilet had piss splattered all over the back of it and a black line at the water level. My shower had mildew. My oven burners had burnt up food on them. My refrigerator had spoiled food in it. I used old cottage cheese containers to bring left-overs to work instead of having proper Tupperware or Gladware. When I brought women back I had to shovel shit off my couch for them to have a place to set and my bed was never made (not that it mattered by the end of the night).
I used the fact that it was a bachelor pad as an excuse for it to look like a shithole. I was a poor helpless male without the guidance of a woman to make my life neat and orderly.
What a bunch of bullshit! I had to change my ways.
I started throwing away my beer bottles right after drinking them. I cleaned my dishes every night. I purged the fridge of food that was inedible and took out my garbage on a scheduled day every week.
I went to my married friend’s house and found him living in a house full of potpourri and flower-printed doilies. Every room except for the basement and garage was decorated by the wife and expressed her likes and personality. I saw his old college beer signs, sports team memorabilia and bikini posters rolled up and thrown in the corner of the garage.
Unlike my married friend, I had the ability to decorate my apartment the way I wanted and I was too damn lazy to take advantage of it. That needed to be my next change.
I went to one of my other bachelor friend’s apartment and found an apartment full of Pier 1 Import shit. He wanted so bad to make his apartment look presentable to women that he bought boring art prints that meant nothing to him and plastered them all over his walls. He spent hundreds of dollars on vases and generic nick-knacks to put on the bookshelves and coffee table that had no story or history to them other than being shipped from China to his local home decor store in a large shipping crate.
I decided to go back to my parents house and take items that meant something to me. I got my Fight Club movie poster and framed it and put it on my wall. I dug out my personalized autographed picture of Mr. Rogers and did the same. I got my Dr. Seuss book collection that I loved so much as a kid and put them in my bookcase. I framed some pictures of me and my friends in Las Vegas. Each item meant something to me and could invoke an interesting conversation that I was passionate about.
I did not spend hundreds or thousands of dollars on worthless overpriced crap in hopes to impress women who came to my apartment. I instead took items that I already owned and cared about and decorated my apartment with them.
Maybe my apartment doesn’t exude “classiness” but it’s a bachelor pad not an art museum. Women are usually quite receptive to it and love walking around it looking and commenting on my items.
It is unique. It is different. It is me.
My friend’s wife has given their master bathroom a duck theme with duck bathroom matts, toothbrush holders, soap dispensers and shower curtains. I have given my bathroom a “dogs drinking beer, smoking cigars and playing poker” theme.