Weekend rant: sex slang and the mening of Soulja Boy “Crank That” lyrics

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Every weekend I will make one rant about any topic that I choose that is not directly related to pickup or seduction.

soulja boy crank that album coverI’ve heard Soulja Boy “Crank That” several times in the past four months and have to admit that it is catchy.  I’ve always wondered what the hell the kid is talking about in the song.

I got the jest of “super soak the hoe” but I never understood what “superman the hoe” was all about.  I checked out urbandictionary.com and got some answers.

Apparently to “superman a hoe” you need to jizz on her back and when she gets up the sheets stick to her back and it looks like Superman’s cape.

Whaaaaaat!?!? OKAY!!!

I also looked up “robocop“. Apparently that is jizzing into a bucket and putting it over a girl’s head.

Now I can somehow see the “Superman a hoe” part if your jizz is like rubber cement and your sheets are shitty 50 thread count but the whole “robocop” bit sounds like bullshit.

I don’t know if these people at Urban Dictionary are just making shit up or what. I swear there is this secret underground “Skulls”-like society of douche bags who spend their nights smoking weed and coming up with new sex terms that involve bodily fluids and peculiar situations.

Of all these strange terms I’ve heard from friends and read on the internet the only one that seems logical to me is the “blumpkin“. It seems like a smart time saver and strategic multitasking. I need to take a dump and I want fellatio; let’s do them both at once! It’s like mixing peanut butter and chocolate.

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