I understand shit tests and the necessity of them for women. I know how I failed them miserably in the past and I understand how to pass them now.
I’m usually prepared for them and handle them well but occasionally there’s the ones that happen in my daily routines that catch me off guard.
Yesterday I went to the store and bought a shitload of energy drinks and high fiber granola bars. A girl was at the cash register and was ringing up my products.
There was a endcap full of toilet paper and for some dumbass reason all I could think about was if I needed TP at home and if I should go grab some before she was done checking my stuff.
Out of the blue she said “I can see you must be trying to watch your girlish figure” with a smirky smile.
I was paying no attention to her at all and I didn’t understand what the hell her comment had to do with my twenty cans of energy drinks.
My failure to come back with a proper reply left the interaction flat and she went back into her regular robotic checkout mode and I went on thinking about if I needed TP or not.
When I walked out I looked through my bags and realized she wasn’t commenting on my energy drinks but instead on my “Curves” brand granola bars (DUH!)
Curves is a franchise of female fitness clubs and the box had women jumping in the air on it. I was too busy looking at the ingredients and nutrition facts to even realize it.
I’ve had similar situations in the past. I’ve had girls at Burger King bust on me for ordering a Whopper without onions yet order onion rings with it. I’ve had a checker give me shit about buying a case of Vault along with a case of Mountain Dew granted they are two similar products from two competing companies.
I used to get defensive in such situations. You are just running a cash register; why are you judging me and giving me shit?!?
Now I have to give these women credit because they were very observant to pick up these subtle inconsistencies in order to create a situational opener. This is even magnified knowing that these people take hundreds of orders a shift or push thousands of products past a scanner each hour.
I used to respond to these situations by trying to explain or defend myself. Those were classic ways to fail miserably. Today I respond differently or just don’t respond.
In a more formal setting I would just chuckle at her and basically blow off the thread. In the above situation because of the time limitation I would have actually responded to her comment in a cocky & funny way.
I think the thing that I need to take away from this situation is that I need to work on being “on” 100% of the time. Why was I thinking of toilet paper when I had a girl checking out my order? I should have been the one thinking up situational openers and using them.
To add insult to injury I got home and found out I DID need toilet paper…
…even more so once I ate a few of those high fiber Curves granola bars.
Some days you can’t win.