Death to the “Pixie Cut” (They SUCK!)

I’m glad to see the “pixie cut” is slowly dying… because it is absolutely HIDEOUS!

Stars like Jennifer Lawrence, Rihanna and Miley Cyrus have made the short hair style popular. Their publicists and hair stylists should all be fired.

I’ve seen fashion magazines and female-friendly blogs outright lie to their readers by saying pixie cuts are “cute” and “adorbs”.

Pixie cuts SUCKREALLY?!?

I guess they are “adorbs” just as a giant pile of steaming shit is “adorbs”…

Sure.. if you are a woman and reading this, you’re probably thinking “this Mack Tight guy is a misogynistic asshole, why would I care what he thinks!”…

Well, let me give you irrefutable evidence that pixie cuts are lame, by bombarding you with “Disney logic”.

Every girl loves Disney animated movies. Hell, most guys love them too.

Which Disney character did you admire as a child? Which one did you dream about growing up to be?

Cinderella? Ariel without the fishtail? Belle? Princess Jasmine?

..or… was it Tinker Bell?

I rest my case.

When I was a boy, I would have gave my last pack of Sour Patch Kids to Princess Jasmine… while I would have swatted Tinker Bell away like a pesky mosquito.

Obviously it’s called the “pixie cut” after Tinker Bell. And Tinker Bell SUCKS. Hell, Peter Pan sucks for that matter.

Tinker Bell is not one of the “Disney Princesses”.

Tinker Bell to Disney is like Ant-Man is to Marvel.

Marvel Exec: Ok, we made billions off of movies based on Iron Man, Captain America, Thor and even the Guardians of the Galaxy. We’re rebooting Spider-Man for the third time in 15 years. We’ve got movies planned for Dr. Strange, Captain Marvel and Black Panther. We need to put out another movie next year after “The Avengers 2″. What should it be?

Pimply-Faced Intern: Uhhhh… Ant-Man?

Marvel Exec: What the fuck is “Ant-Man”?

Pimply-Faced Intern: He’s a super hero who gets really small and flies around on an ant with wings.

Marvel Exec: He sounds like a pussy. Whatever, lets poop it out. We’ll already have made a billion off “Avengers 2″ any way. We’ll get one of those jerk-offs from those shitty Judd Apatow movies to play him.

I don’t think pixie cuts suck because I’m misogynistic… I LOVE women. In fact, I love HAIR on women.

Let me correct that: I love hair on the HEADS of women… long, beautiful, flowing hair.

It’s sexy.

Just as facial hair defines a man… long hair defines a woman.

Don’t chop your hair off because it’s “trendy”. For the love of God, don’t do it because Miley Cyrus if doing it!

Leave your hair long! If you butchered your hair… repent for your sin and let it grow back out.

Please leave the short hair for us dudes and Tinker Bell.

I beg you.

It’s casual,

Mack Tight

Picture Credit: Beyonce’s Instagram -