I recently spoke to Ryker, the creator of Asian Dating Superstars to find
out more about what challenges Asian guys faced when trying to date and seduce
women. (You can learn more about his program here)
I get the whole weak Asian stereotype that the media often portrays but I
wanted to hear the specific take of an Asian dating expert like Ryker, someone
who can relate and understand the real challenges that Asian guys face.
And these are his answers, tips and advice for Asian guys.
Ryker, what are some of the biggest challenges Asian men face with women?
I have coached and interacted with a lot of Asian men and being
Asian myself, I totally understand the problems that most Asian guys face.
First off, the biggest reason why Asian guys are often left
rejected and disappointed with women is because they somehow
feel that being Asian is a big strike against them. Before
they even walkup, mentally they have placed themselves in an
And through helping Asian men, I realize this underdog
position comes in 2 forms. The first is the Asian guy
who believes that being Asian is weak and that the woman will
brush him off, without even looking at him.
The second is the Asian guy who feels he has something to
prove, something to show in order to get some respect and by
over-compensating, by being too arrogant and showing too much
bravado, he sabotages his own success.
Most Asian guys feel this way because of a lot of negative
media stereotypes. The media I personally feel has been very
unkind to the Asian male population, if you watch movies like
Ocean's Eleven, the Asian guy is the one who is crawling in the
vent, while the alpha Caucasian male struts around and looks good.
Or we are stereotyped as kung-fu masters who speak Chinese
throughout and are generally laughed at and mocked.
Also, from young, we are told to be obedient and follow
instructions by our Asian parents, and not be too bold, not
be too adventurous, not to disobey and we carry that over to
our social interactions. With friends or with women, we are
not too loud, not too vocal, and we play it too safe.
The end result is that women completely overlook the Asian
male, and treat him as an almost invisible entity.
And that's something that really hurts.
And finally, as an Asian guy, I can tell you that as a culture,
we are very intellectual, very brainy and we think and analyze a
While that helps in college, it really hurts us when it comes
to interacting with women because we are stuck in our heads too
much, and we think and over-analyze and break things down -
all the time, failing to focus on the girl right in front of
And it is no wonder she rolls her eyes after a while, and walks
off angry and disappointed, leaving the Asian guy standing there all
Why do some of these issues happen?
Great question. A lot of these issues happen as a result of
cultural programming and media re-enforcement.
As a culture, Asians tend to stick together, and value harmony
and conformity over Western ideals like independence, speaking out
and being opinionated.
From young, the Asian male is taught to obey, to conform, to
live up to certain ideals set by his elders. And if he even dares
to transgress on these laws, he is dealt with the firm slap across
the face from his elders.
There is much to be proud of in the Asian culture, but when the
average Asian guy begins to be over-obedient, and too rigid because
of conditioning, he carries this forward to everyday social interactions
and that's when the whole mess happens.
He is seen as rigid, uncomfortable, ill-at-ease in interactions or at
times, regarded as quiet and even "a rock" who just sits there
and barely has anything to say, any reaction. The girls think he is weird,
and just plain avoid him because they don't know what to make of him.
He just fades into the background, unnoticed and that's a very sad
place to be.
Also, the western media re-enforces this stereotype and it really hurts
because prolonged viewing of such shows makes Asian guys slowly assimilate
and absorb this negative identity.
Eventually, they feel that being nerdy, geeky and being a laughing stock
is part and parcel of being Asian - which is totally wrong.
Their peer group too may re-enforce this too - by either being very
defeatist and just surrendering to this negative stereotype or being very
angry and trying to prove a point.
Both of which only further re-enforce the misguided identity that being
Asian is weak and a handicap that has to be overcome.
Finally, many Asian guys are not blessed with the tallest of height or
broadest of frames. In fact, they are sometimes shorter than average and
not as muscular, and when they see guys of other races being taller, buffer
and more dominant in appearance, they immediately give up and assume it's
game over for them.
All these factors result in a vicious cycle that causes Asian guys to be
a subject of mocking and teasing by girls and the media, and the chief
reason why they get so little respect.
How can they improve and get better with girls?
Firstly, if a stereotype exists in your mind, the only way to break it
and crush it permanently is if you have a strong role-model that appears,
that totally smashes that limiting belief you have.
Without that, you will always be filled with self-doubt but once you
find an Asian role-model so strong, so capable, so full of confidence and
ability that he smashes everything you ever thought about being Asian,
you immediately realize that all you once believed was false, and that
being Asian is not a handicap, and that Asians can get good with women.
In my product Asian Dating Superstars, I don't just provide you
with one role model - I provide you with 12!
Twelve Asian guys who each have been there, been on the receiving end
of teasing, humiliation, some of whom had to endure far worse embarrassment
and shame than you have ever received but managed to conquer all these,
and rise above their problems to be phenomenally successful with women.
And you bet they understand how you feel, because they have the same,
(if not deeper) emotional scars to prove it - and having walked the path you
have walked, they can fix your issues faster than anyone else can.
The next important thing is to understand that reality can definitely
be shifted and changed, but ONLY if you know how.
A lot of Asian guys have gone through their entire lives so far with
no success with girls, and they automatically assume it's lights out
and game over for them. They assume they are destined to die single, and
that no girl will even take a fancy to them.
Look, the 12 Asian dating coaches on my product each started in about
the same bad shape as most Asian guys. Rejected left and right, girls
avoiding them or toying with them before breaking their hearts, they have
all been there.
But look where they are now, the same guys who used to laugh at them
are now their students. You can be just as successful if you know how.
What I have done with Asian Dating Superstars is gotten them to reveal
their own personal journey and transformation, and the very best of
their personal learnings - and along the way, shatter every single
one of the common limiting beliefs most Asian guys have that prevents
them from succeeding.
And as you listen in to their personal true-story, you may begin
to realize that hey, it's actually possible for me to succeed,
that all these limiting beliefs about being short and being Asian
all don't really matter.
It's like that strange moment of total clarity when you realize
that yes, I can actually do this and you feel absolute self-confidence.
And one final piece of advice is this. You have to take risks.
Quit being too safe, too obedient, there are times when there is an
opportunity you want right in front of you, and you have to squash
everything else and go and grab it.
Be it a girl you want to approach, or something that will change your
Go do it, and don't think. Who cares what they think? Please
yourself first, and if you really want to do something, go ahead and
do it, without fear or need of approval.
In Asian Dating Superstars, I get the 12 Asian coaches to reveal how
they used highly-effective techniques to re-wire their previously negative
and harmful thinking, and enable them to achieve great confidence with women.
With this, you will learn how to get in touch with your natural
masculine self and build unstoppable confidence. The fears and
insecurities you had previously will melt away and you will find that
your hands stop shaking, your teeth stop chattering and you stop
shivering or stammering when you talk to girls.
You will be more expressive, more fluid and more natural.
I have not seen any other program out there this specific for the
Asian population. I am Asian and I have been in the dumps before, girls
rejecting me like I was invisible and transparent so I know exactly how
Asian guys feel.
I am going to go one step further and say this - if you want to stop
being rejected by women, stop feeling insecure about being Asian, stop
leaving parties and social events feeling shitty and disappointed with
your lack of confidence, you will find the solution right here.
Do it for yourself. You deserve it this time.
It's the first step to your own personal transformation.
You can visit Ryker’s site at: http://www.AsianDatingSuperstars.com