Here’s a quick article by Joseph Matthews AKA Thundercat on how to quit being so hard on yourself about failed interactions and start approaching women again now…
We are presented with dozens of opportunities to meet women every single day.
Be it at the grocery store, coffee shop, internet, night club - whatever. The fact is, as we move through our daily lives, one opportunity after another comes our way.
Yet, how many of these opportunities do YOU take advantage of?
I’m willing to bet its not that many.
But if you took the time to just seize ONE of these opportunities a day, that means over the course of just one year, you’d meet 365 women.
Out of 365 women, don’t you think that at least ONE of them would be worth keeping around?
So what’s keeping us from doing so? Why do we allow such opportunities with women pass us by?
Some guys would say that its “fear of rejection” that’s keeping us at bay, but I don’t agree with that.
We get rejected all the time. If we were really afraid of rejection, we wouldn’t be able to function in every-day society.
I think what really happens is that we always tend to PUNISH ourselves when an interaction with a woman doesn’t go the way we want it to.
Think about it…
How many times have you beat yourself up over saying the wrong thing, or saying nothing at all?
How many times have you made yourself feel stupid and angry at “blowing your shot” with a girl?
How many times have you called yourself “stupid” or a “loser” when things didn’t go your way?
Understand - we are always TOO HARD on ourselves when it comes to initiating a new romance.
We lay HUGE guilt trips on ourselves, and beat ourselves down mercilessly, just because our attempt at meeting a new woman we found attractive failed.
In the “real world,” its no big deal. The girl moves on with her life, and you move on with yours.
But in your mind, that self-punishment for failure can last days, weeks, and in some cases even MONTHS.
We make ourselves feel SO BAD, that our brain wants to avoid such punishment in the future by KEEPING us from approach women!
This is where the dreaded APPROACH ANXIETY comes from.
Feeling nervous about approach women is a self defense mechanism to keep us from experiencing the pain we inflict on ourselves when something doesn’t go the way we want it to.
And it all stems from the BEATING we give ourselves.
If you want to meet tons of beautiful, smart, fun, and amazing women, you must learn to congratulate yourself for trying, rather than beating yourself up for failing.
You have to understand that if a woman doesn’t go for what you have to offer, it’s not a reflection of your self worth. Its simply a learning process.
The more you do it, the better you get at it!
And the less you beat yourself up over the interactions that don’t go well, the easier it is to do.
I know this, because this was a big problem I had to face myself.
When I overcame the “self punishment” phase, meeting women suddenly became much easier!
In my book, the Art Of Approaching, I teach a variety of methods to help you overcome this detrimental habit.
No where else will you find such real-world experience and practical advice about meeting women.
Before long, you’ll be taking advantage of every opportunity that comes your way.
And you know what?
You’ll be so much happier for it!