Taking Yoga to Meet Women

I’ve heard guru after guru suggest that yoga is a great thing to do to meet hot women.

Well, I tried it this past winter.

I took a weekly night yoga class at a local college and I was surprised… in several BAD ways.

First, the clientele ran the gambit. I wasn’t necessary expecting a room full of hot 20somethings with fake boobs but I also wasn’t expecting overweight 50somethings and creepy, profusely sweating gray haired guys either.

There wasn’t one woman in my class that I would have sex with sober…

…or drunk for that matter.

That threw out the whole “meeting hot women” thing, but I was still open to learning a new experience…

…and let me tell you that yoga SUCKS as an experience!!!

If you are picturing some Buddhist monk peacefully meditating while setting Indian style with his hands folded, you are dead wrong!

Most of it involves stretching your body in ways that it wasn’t meant to be stretched… and then holding it in that awkward position for 60 seconds.

For some dumb reason I went out for football in high school as a scrawny Freshman, and I felt yoga was more painful than getting pummeled by sadistic Seniors three times my size.

Almost all the positions are in the favor of a woman’s natural center of gravity…

If you don’t know, women are more centered at their hips than men.

The instructor liked to make us lie on our backs and scoot our butts up against the wall with our legs raised. Then she would have us move them to 45 degree angles while keeping our back flat on the floor. This was just one of the positions that I had a major problem with while the women breezed through it.

Onto the yoga “ambiance”…

I didn’t like how the room was damn near pitch dark all the time and they were constantly playing “Sade” music on a boom box over and over…

I don’t want to hear “Smooth Operator” in the dark unless I’m fucking a woman…

…I most definitely do not want to hear it when there is a sweaty 50 year old guy in “cat” position by me with his ass in my face!

So there you go!

I can only wish that your yoga experience fairs much better than mine…

It was worth a shot and maybe I’ll try it again at a different time at a different place…

…and in a different LIFETIME.

Time to sign up for another random class somewhere…

Namaste!