Taking Yoga to Meet Women

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I’ve heard guru after guru suggest that yoga is a great thing to do to meet hot women.

Well, I tried it this past winter.

I took a weekly night yoga class at a local college and I was surprised… in several BAD ways.

First, the clientele ran the gambit. I wasn’t necessary expecting a room full of hot 20somethings with fake boobs but I also wasn’t expecting overweight 50somethings and creepy, profusely sweating gray haired guys either.

There wasn’t one woman in my class that I would have sex with sober…

…or drunk for that matter.

That threw out the whole “meeting hot women” thing, but I was still open to learning a new experience…

…and let me tell you that yoga SUCKS as an experience!!!

If you are picturing some Buddhist monk peacefully meditating while setting Indian style with his hands folded, you are dead wrong!

Most of it involves stretching your body in ways that it wasn’t meant to be stretched… and then holding it in that awkward position for 60 seconds.

For some dumb reason I went out for football in high school as a scrawny Freshman, and I felt yoga was more painful than getting pummeled by sadistic Seniors three times my size.

Almost all the positions are in the favor of a woman’s natural center of gravity…

If you don’t know, women are more centered at their hips than men.

The instructor liked to make us lie on our backs and scoot our butts up against the wall with our legs raised. Then she would have us move them to 45 degree angles while keeping our back flat on the floor. This was just one of the positions that I had a major problem with while the women breezed through it.

Onto the yoga “ambiance”…

I didn’t like how the room was damn near pitch dark all the time and they were constantly playing “Sade” music on a boom box over and over…

I don’t want to hear “Smooth Operator” in the dark unless I’m fucking a woman…

…I most definitely do not want to hear it when there is a sweaty 50 year old guy in “cat” position by me with his ass in my face!

So there you go!

I can only wish that your yoga experience fairs much better than mine…

It was worth a shot and maybe I’ll try it again at a different time at a different place…

…and in a different LIFETIME.

Time to sign up for another random class somewhere…


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Comments: 2 comments

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  • Brian
    May 18th, 2009 at 5:40 am

    Depends on WHERE you’re doing yoga. I found that if you’re doing yoga at a gym in a high end rich neighborhood, then you will find way more attractive mid 20’s rich women.

  • Mack Tight
    May 18th, 2009 at 8:58 am

    I’m sure I could scout around to find a yoga place with more attractive women but the simple fact is that I’m still not going to enjoy it.

    Yoga sucks and I’m not going to spend my time doing something I despise just to meet women. My goal is to find a hobby that I ENJOY where I can also meet women.

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