The Wingman Fallacy

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In my opinion picking up women with a GOOD wingman is 100 times easier than doing it alone…

…BUT picking up women with a BAD wingman is twice as hard.

So avoid bad wingmen and gravitate toward good wingmen, what’s so hard about that?

The problem is 90% of the wingmen you are going to have in your life are likely going to be BAD wingmen.

So it is of my opinion that you need to learn how to get good at game on your own before you even worry about finding the elusive perfect wingman…

…and probably by then you won’t even NEED a wingman.

Let me tell you about my story…

Up until I moved to Milwaukee, I always had a large pool of friends to go out with.

So when I moved and was completely on my own; I was a fucking train wreck.

I never had to do it before so I found it incredibly hard to go out on my own and talk to people I didn’t know.

Basically in the past my friends were my security blanket.

I felt naked and awkward in stores and clubs by myself.

I decided I needed to meet friends, more specifically get new wingmen. But since I was not able to meet people by myself it was like a dog chasing his tail.

Once I started getting into the pickup community I did meet up with a few local guys. I was overall impressed with the guys I met. Most of them were pretty cool and socially acute. I overall had a good time with them and I learned a lot… but NONE of us were really that focused on being good wingmen for each other.

The problem was that every guy wanted something out of the other person but were reluctant to give anything in return.

The skilled guys with good game typically fed off praise and wanted followers. They weren’t REALLY looking to assist in improving the game of their followers and were often moochers in addition.

On the other hand, the unskilled wanted some guy to magically come and hand pussy to them on a silver platter without having anything to offer in return.

I confess that I was more of the latter at the time.

I met probably a dozen guys and none of them really wanted to go out of their way to actually do any wingman duties. None of them were willing to sacrifice 5 minutes of their time to occupy a target’s friends alone spend their whole night for the sole cause of me getting laid. For that matter, I was not willing to do those duties for them either.

Finally I stopped going out with guys from the community. I had to quit looking for a savior and face my demons head on. I needed to stop looking for a magical Snuffleupagus to save me from myself.

And before you think this is just me bashing people from the community, it is not. I started reflecting on the friends I had in the past 10 years and found similar patterns regarding them.

The “naturals” who were really good with women never were good wingmen. They were very cunningly psychologically manipulative. Basically they mooched off me, used me as the socially acceptable friend who was no threat to their harems and often stepped in and tried to sabotage me when my game started improving.

Most of the others were chumps who tried to ride on my coattails. They would often be bumps on a log while I approached a woman. If I got blown out, they would be right there to mock me. If I succeeded, they would scurry out of the woodwork like cockroaches and demand that I introduce them to her and her friends. Sometimes they had the audacity to go after my target. Just like the “naturals”, they would often try to sabotage my game so they wouldn’t be the only ones going home alone that night and thus feel better about their lack of success at picking up women.

And yes, I exhibited traits from both categories above myself (more so from the “chumps”) so I’m not one to cast stones.

Basically I racked my brain and out of the hundreds if not thousands of guys I partied with I could only come up with a handful of guys who actually directly contributed to me getting laid on a relatively routine basis. Often these type of guys are not around very long.

Now don’t get me wrong, I DO have GREAT friends. I have friends who I trust with my life and who I would give the shirt off my back and them the same. That being said, they still are typically horrible and selfish when it comes to being a wingman around women.

Look at last seasons “The Pick Up Artist” where Greg left Rian out on his own once he was making out with his target. In that episode they KNEW that they were being judged on how well of a wingman they were and yet Greg was STILL selfish. Most of my friends would do the same in that situation. It’s not that they are bad people, it is just they are horny males who solely care about getting their own dick wet and could care less about mine. In many ways that is completely understandable.

So my conclusion was that finding a wingman was not the solution for my problem. I actually needed to work on my own inner psychology and start forcing myself to go out by myself and be productive. I could keep my eyes open for potentially good wingmen along the way.

So I suggest you stop looking for a savior, in fact stop solely looking for a wingman because the odds of you finding one that’s productive toward you improving your sex life is not very high.

Get your mind right and be able to be successful by yourself. Along the way you are sure to meet wingman candidates and since you know you can fall back on going out by yourself you can be more choosy and your game will be less crushed once a good wingman leaves you.

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It’s casual,
Mack Tight

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Comments: 4 comments

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  • Adonis
    May 12th, 2009 at 11:49 am

    This is exactly why I tend to go out solo if my intent is to meet women. Good wings are near impossible to meet. The biggest leap forward my game took is when I decided to go out by myself. All of a sudden my game went through the roof. We often don’t realize just how bad our wings are fucking things up for us (and we are fucking things up for them).

  • Bobby Rio
    May 12th, 2009 at 11:49 am

    I agree its really hard to find good wingman.. and yes, even most of my friends (after telling them the wingman rules) still routinely get selfish and fail to be a true wingman

  • Adam Elite
    May 13th, 2009 at 3:13 am

    At Adonis. Agreed, I learnt more about women and realising my potential by gaming solo for 6 months, than I ever did in 7 years of gaming with so-called buddies.
    I too moved to a new area and it was a social landmine of
    wannabe AMOGs, Social Retards, Psychologically Unstable “Nice Guys” (usually nice guys are everything BUT nice), No Hopers, Women Haters etc.

    As Mystery always said, its like a Sport Protegee’ leaving behind scores of lousy team mates to reach the Super Bowl Finals.

    Another good thing about gaming solo is because I’m sober and own a car “Logistics” is taken care of. So when I do extract a girl the F-close is far easier.


  • Matt Savage
    May 13th, 2009 at 2:48 pm

    There are some excellent points raised here and would have to agree that most of my friend, particularly my best friends are NOT the best wingmen. More often than not, they tend to unknowingly cock block or sabotage.

    Usually my game plan, when I’m out with friends who I know are poor wingmen, is to purposely get them into a set first and get them occupied by some random group of girls that I’m not interested. Then, once they are doing fine on their own, I eject from the set and open another better set on my own and unhindered.

    Of course, flying solo is usually ideal, but if you have an active social life, you aren’t always going to have that option.

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