So a girl flakes on you… what should you do?
Here’s what to do when a woman flakes:
And that’s it.
* Don’t be upset. Don’t lecture her. She doesn’t care. If she cared about what you thought of her, she probably wouldn’t have flaked in the first place. Don’t believe me? Ask yourself if “feeling tired” would have kept her from a date with Brad Pitt. All that punishing her will do is to associate yourself in her mind with bad emotions, and momentarily make her feel badly. But don’t worry; she’ll feel better when the next guy gives her attention.
* Just in case that wasn’t clear… You planned to meet her at 6pm? You had to leave work early? Fight traffic? Cut your workout short? Miss your favorite show? Tough. She doesn’t care. That’s not her problem. If you tell her all of this, you just lost value in her eyes because you rearranged your life for a date with her when she’s clearly still iffy about you.
* Remember Pre-selection (Chapter 3) and act like a man who has lots of women interested in him. Such a man wouldn’t be especially thrown off by a flake. He has other women in his life who would love see him, and more likely than not, whatever it was that he was going to do with her was something that he would enjoy doing anyway with cool friends (see Chapter 16 on dates). If this frame is not perfectly clear and obvious to you, cancel the next time you set up a date with a random woman. I’m serious. Listen for her reaction and learn to copy it. It didn’t ruin her day. It shouldn’t ruin yours.
* A phrase I’ve had a lot of success with is “No problem, I’ll invite someone else.” This is best used when your plans were obviously for two people (e.g., you had two concert tickets and invited her). Don’t use this on a third or fourth date, but when the relationship is still casual, it’s perfect.
That’s some sound advice!
Magic Bullets has 24 chapters, from Approaching to Seduction, with full chapters on all the key skills you have to master: winging, dates, fashion, storytelling, social circles, physical escalation (”kino”), and much more.
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