When NOT to become “exclusive” with a girlfriend by Scot McKay

Scot McKayScot McKay is a dating coach who recently released the relationship management program The Leading Man.

I’ve seen so many colleagues and friends “settle” for women they are not attracted to or just don’t get along with. Here’s a brief article by Scot explaining unacceptable reasons to enter an exclusive monogamous relationship with a woman…


Almost every day, it seems, I hear from guys who want to date lots of women, but have found themselves in a steady relationship they never really asked for explicitly.

Well, today I’ve got your back on this issue.

Here, in simple English, are three UNACCEPTABLE reasons to make a woman your steady girlfriend:


1) She’s the only one you’re dating anyway

OK. You feel as if you don’t have any other options and don’t see any on the immediate horizon. But you DO have a woman who actually seems to like you. Why not just make her your steady girlfriend? Seems uncomplicated enough.

And indeed, this is how things go for A LOT of guys out there. I’d dare say the MAJORITY.

I thought about devoting an entire newsletter to the concept of how if ONE woman is wildly attracted to you, it almost GUARANTEES that there would be others. And that’s pretty much true.

Some guys truly are at “ground zero” when it comes to attraction and aren’t yet deserving what they want. But other guys are passively sleepwalking through life and only end up with a woman by default, basically. Out of happenstance, a guy may be introduced to a woman and end up on a first date with her. Date one turns into date two, and so on until what we’re talking about here happens.

And what’s next? That nagging feeling of having SETTLED, that’s what.

If you can get one woman in your life, you could theoretically have options if you summon the confidence to believe it. Apart from that, you are operating from a position of very limited personal power.

2) She cajoled you more than others

You may actually have several women you are casually dating, all of whom are interesting and interested. But often there’s that one woman who levels the ultimatum on exclusivity a bit earlier and with decidedly more conviction than the others. Since she’s so vocal about it, and since you kind of like her, you capitulate.

And “capitulate” is a profane word around here. It rhymes with “settle”.

For that matter, if you look up “capitulate” in the dictionary, it’ll probably say “gave away all his power to a woman who lost all respect for him almost immediately after he caved in to her demands.”

Careful here. I’m NOT saying that any woman who wants an exclusive relationship with you should be denied categorically. I AM saying that you shouldn’t kowtow to HER decision to be exclusive…especially if it’s not YOUR decision also.

3) You feel like you’ve got to “lock her down”

Maybe you have some options, but then the World’s Hottest Woman shows up in your life. You have this “OMG” moment and start scrambling to make her your steady girlfriend because… 1) She’s the most ridiculously sexy chick you’ve ever dated and you’ve got to make her yours, and… 2) …if you don’t, you’re afraid some other guy will.

First of all, remember that if a high-quality woman shows up in your life, that’s to be treated as having RAISED THE BAR. It’s not to be considered a “stroke of luck”. This is kind of a logical progression to the concept of having the ability to attract ONE begets the ability to attract MANY.

Indeed, this woman is simply an indicator that you have earned the ability to attract a higher echelon of women. So continue the rational progression of seeing how well you two get along before getting serious, please.

But more importantly here, you are seriously damaging you own attractiveness here by jumping all over her. Remember, getting kills wanting…especially if you’re trying to hold onto her with a “death grip” very early on.

And most importantly, um…you CAN’T lock another human being down, dude. She can still leave you, even if she’s you’re steady girlfriend.

Scot McKay The Leading ManIf you would like to learn more about Scot’s relationship management solutions, click here to find out more about his new program called The Leading Man…