When Should You Become Exclusive With A Woman?

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Scot McKayScot McKay is a dating coach who recently released the relationship management program The Leading Man.

A lot of guys enter the pickup community and want to sleep with as many women as possible. That’s find and dandy…

But for those who want to settle down and have not had the experience; when do you know if a girl is someone you should become exclusive with?

Last week I made a post that listed Scot’s BAD reasons to settle down and become exclusive with a woman.

On the flip side, here’s some GOOD reasons. If you have met these three criteria it is a good sign that this is the girl…



1) You know what you want in a woman

If you haven’t dated many women at all, how do you know what you REALLY want? If you’ve dated your share of high-quality women and you’ve had a chance to fine-tune exactly who it is you’re looking for, then you’ll be WAY better equipped to recognize her when she shows up in your life.

And if you find yourself in the mood to actually HAVE an exclusive relationship with her, it’s probably because of the next point…

2) You’ve left no curiosity unanswered in the dating world

Here’ a truth that’s about as simple as truth gets: If you’re still interested in dating lots of women, then you probably aren’t interested in choosing one of them from the mix at this point.

If you end up in a steady relationship under such circumstances, you’ll probably end up with your nose pressed against the glass looking at “greener pastures” outside.

And this will be the case no matter how great your girlfriend is. After all, you weren’t in the “relationship” state of mind just yet.

On the other hand, what if you’ve been dating sixteen women at once, and have grown tired of all the juggling?

Let’s say you narrowed that field down to four or five at that point. And after a while, you then started realizing that you had met and enjoyed the company of lots of incredible women but were now thinking more about stability and long-term vision than you have in the past.

It’s about then that you may realize that one woman on your list is by far your first choice. Were she available every night, you’d see her instead of the others.

Well, that woman would be a GOOD choice for an exclusive relationship, I’d say. You will have selected her from many options and with a solid frame of mind.

3) You have tested and approved her ultimate worthiness

Even if you have a firm grasp on what runs your guns as far as women go, and even if you have a pile of women in your life, there’s always the off chance that one’s going to come along who flat-out knocks your socks off. The switch gets flipped and she’s basically all you can think of.

Whoa there, cowboy.

You’ve been around the block to know that it takes sweet time to qualify a woman fully. Spend loads of time with her in common, everyday situations. Mix it up some. Meet her friends and vice-versa. Go on that all-important road trip I talked about in a newsletter a couple of months ago.

You’ve got to make sure you know that what’s under the hood has the horsepower to back the sexy bodywork. Otherwise, she’s “all show and no go”. And true character takes time to show forth in its fullness.

Take your time and decide from a position of strength. And deserve what you want also, because a great woman like her is probably as tuned in to reason as you are.

You’ll notice that conspicuous by its absence from either list is “because she’s pregnant”. That’s either the subject of a whole ‘nother newsletter, or something that needs to be handled on a case-by-case basis. I’m still trying to figure out which it is for sure.

Scot McKay The Leading ManBut either way, guys, the one thing is DO know for sure is that you have GOT to be a man who makes his own informed decisions in the dating world rather than being subject to the whim of someone else.

If you would like to learn more about Scot’s relationship management solutions, click here to find out more about his new program called The Leading Man…

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Comments: One comment

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  • PUA Training Blog
    September 23rd, 2008 at 10:29 am

    Most people in the PU community like to just concentrate on getting as many girls as possible, and ignore the idea of long term relationships, even though this will be what makes you happy.

    I think this is a good post, and it’s true that when you do commit, it’s much better to choose your girlfriend from a variety of options, rather than rushing into something that isn’t right for either of you.

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